Still Time for Feathers

If I had the chance

to go back

somewhere in my past

I’d find the girl

who dreamt of life and what had come to pass

I’d sit right down beside her and I’d

whisper in her ear

those simple words she never heard

but always longed to hear

You are love just being here

Only you can change this day

Only you can pave your way

Try to keep your heart the same

Try to let your dreams remain

Deep brown eyes,

long flowing dress and feathers in her hair

with thoughts so big she silenced them

with no one there to share

Hold on tight

to all the notions

deep inside your mind

even when the words

they come

and hurt you every time

You are love just being here

Only you can change this day

Only you can pave your way

Try to keep your heart the same

Try to let your dreams remain

I think that she would look at me and wonder who was there

But she would find the weathered wings

still bound within my hair

We would hold each other tight

more closely than before

she would be the one to say

there’s time for something more

You are love just being here

Only you can change this day

Only you can pave your way

Try to keep your heart the same

Try to let your dreams remain

You are love just being here

A good friend of mine gave me an assignment last year. I was to go back to some point in my life and send a message to my younger self. It was to be written to the tune “Across the Universe” by the Beatles. I cherished the idea of being given an assignment but a block would form each time I set out to write. I landed in the same place each and every time. I know that place well, every moment and would quickly turn away from the thoughts. I eventually stopped turning and allowed myself to go there once again. My younger self needed me to go there. I found myself sitting in an open field, surrounded by tall golden grass, dreaming about the future, my future. I can see how optimistic I was and the notion of the endless possibilities I had in my mind. It is not those moments that stopped me from writing it is what was to come. How within a year of sitting there it would all change. It is not a time I would repeat given the opportunity and is always close to the surface now as my own daughters navigate the same age as I was then. With all that I am I want to protect them from feeling such hurt in their lives.

Jill Denise Fitz

September 2020